Once upon a time, we thought there was a right way to be, to do, to know. A way others could verify, although we weren’t exactly sure who or how they might do it. But we kept looking anyway.

Once upon a time, we thought struggle meant a good, responsible, honorable life. We thought grit and determination meant overriding our instincts, our inner knowing. We thought becoming harder, more calloused, and more protected meant becoming more realistic. An “adult.” 

Once upon a time, we were seduced by the promise that money was our answer to suffering. That well-being was scarce and we needed to compete for it. We were seduced by the sense of purpose money offered in an otherwise complex world. The opportunity for comfort, even if temporary. The clarity of what we needed to do to get it and the thrill of the pursuit.  

Once upon a time, we forgot to value the things that gave us energy–the things that seemed to dance out of us with such ease and replenish our being from the inside-out. We forgot the powerful guidance of the internal hum–that deep, visceral expression of joy that illuminated our person, leaving us radiant and glowing.  

And then, on one completely ordinary day, we remembered.

We remembered that we carried an inner map buried deep in the recesses of our being. A map perfectly designed for us, by us to offer precise guidance in the ups and downs of our extraordinary and yet completely ordinary human life. A map that only we could choose to access.

At first, we weren't sure if we could trust this map. How could it be so simple? How could we know things for ourselves? But little by little, we experimented with its directions. We took a step towards the internal hum, following the expansion. We took a step away from the internal hum, through our contraction. And little by little, our experimentation became more refined. We learned the terrain. We built our compass. 

We remembered that the things that give us energy, light us up, are way-showers for our life. That they are essential. We remembered that what is life-giving is our gift to the whole, our unique and completely necessary form of service. We remembered that what is life-giving is, in fact, the entire point of it all. 

When we remembered this, everything changed. The purifying fires burned our needless suffering, and the cooling waters nourished our seeds of longing. We activated the support that lay dormant in our forgetting, patiently waiting for a chance to engage us again. Patient and trusting that the day would come where we would remember. And from there, everything opened.

Everything changed.

Subscribe now

“Questions about money are questions about living.” - Emily Sullivan

Currency comes from the Latin root currens, which means flowing or running; it describes the movement or circulation of something. I became intrigued by all of the different flavors of currency that might exist when I heard my beloved yoga teacher reference the movement of currency, or lifeforce, in the body. It was a clue to take a closer look at this whole currency thing.  

It’s natural to fixate on money as the currency of our time; it’s ever-present, easy to measure, and increasingly easy to exchange. In this sense, money is a tangible marker of value with tremendous signaling power. Earning it, having it, and giving it can become an important sense of purpose, and even identity, in our own lives. But a thriving life requires so much more than the circulation of money. And if we start paying close attention, we’ll see how many other currencies are circulating to and from us all the time. Currencies that have tremendous and under-appreciated value. We are far more resourced, and resourcing of others, than we think!

I was talking to a new friend about this dynamic recently. He’s part of a tight knit community of people who lead very different lifestyles. When he realized that some of his peers were struggling to pay for certain group experiences, he initiated a conversation about how they could better show up and care for each other. It wasn’t long into the discussion before some of his own non-financial needs surfaced. As a new dad, he was short on time and low on in-person connection. What he wanted most was for someone to make a trip to see and spend time with him. He described to me how heartened some of peers were to hear that they could offer something “of value” by simply showing up at his house for a hangout. We don’t tend to think about visiting a busy friend as a currency at our disposal, but it is…and it’s just as real as a financial flow. 

On a similar note, I was checking out at my local grocery store the other day, and as I was about to walk out the door, the cashier looked me in the eye and thanked me for my kindness. I could tell he was touched, and I was a bit surprised that our 30-second interaction had meant enough to him to say something about it. His acknowledgement was so meaningful to me; it gave my actions value. I thought to myself, “wow, I have kindness to give?” 

These recent experiences inspired me to start compiling a list of currencies, something of value that can be given and/or received, to see what else I might be overlooking. As soon as I opened my notebook, examples started flooding in…and they haven’t stopped. Below you’ll find my working list.

Currencies:

• Able-bodiedness

• Access to nature

• Acknowledgement

• Active listening

• Acts of service

• Appreciation

• Art

• Assistance

• Attention

• Beauty

• Brainstorming

• Breath

• Candor

• Celebrations

• Charisma

• Chi

• Clean air

• Coaching

• Companionship

• Conversation

• Correspondence

• Credit

• Curation

• Design

• Drawing

• Dreams

• Education

• Encouragement

• Experience

• Expertise

• Exploration

• Eye contact

• Facilitation

• Feedback

• Food

• Forgiveness

• Fresh perspective

• Friendship

• Gathering place

• Generosity

• Generous assumption

• Gifts

• Gratitude

• Healing arts

• Healthy soil

• Hospitality

• Humor

• Innovation

• Insights

• Inspiration

• Intellect

• Introductions

• Intuition

• Invitations

• Justice

• Kindness

• Knowledge

• Laughter

• Leadership

• Literacy

• Love

• Money

• Music

• Opportunities

• Organization

• Partnership

• Passion

• Physical space

• Physical strength

• Planning

• Poetry

• Prayer

• Presence

• Quality time

• Recognition

• Recommendations

• Referrals

• Research

• Respect

• Smiles

• Song

• Storytelling

• Structure

• Style

• Time

• Understanding

• Vision

• Vitality

• Water

• Wisdom

• Words of affirmation

• Writing

While this list is incomplete, it paints a much more holistic picture of wealth—one that feels a lot more true, at least to me. I see how many of these currencies I am giving and/or receiving on a regular basis, and by seeing them, I value them. I make them “real.” The intention of this list is not to dismiss the importance of money; it’s to contextualize money as one currency in a much larger web of exchanges that are taking place all the time. It’s to present a more comprehensive view of the conditions that create a thriving life, of which money is a part. It’s to help us see how many resources we actually already have—and to help us let more of those resources in.

May we be willing to receive all of the goodness that is already here, and may that be enough, at least for now.

Most of us have a complicated relationship with money, and there is wisdom in our pause. It is deeply unnerving to play a rigged game. We can feel the dissonance of this system design, despite our best attempts to rationalize why and how things are the way they are...even when we stand to benefit tremendously from the current game.

If we are sincere in our interest to heal our relationship with money, we need to have our wits about us and be willing to see how money is currently being used. Are you ready? It’s a choice, and should you choose to walk through this door, there’s no turning back…

Our current system is extraordinarily out of balance, as it has been designed to incentivize the pursuit of self-interest above all else and accrue more "success" to the "successful". It has been designed to keep us in the constant pursuit of more, never arriving at the peace of enough. In the system, we (are taught to) behave like ravenous children with eyes larger than our stomachs; the compulsion is so strong we can’t help but stuff ourselves until we hit the natural limits of our stomachs. Then boom! We’ve gone from lack to excess, as we buckle in discomfort and shame ourselves for over-indulging. 

The lack-to-excess spectrum is where most of us (have been taught to) live. The majority dwells in lack, the minority in excess, but at the extremes, there are more similarities in experience than differences. There is pain. There is scarcity. There is a fantasy about how life would be different “if only.” These dynamics create a kind of collective trance state, which keeps the status quo alive and well.

Our current system externalizes power. It teaches us that power must be earned (or in some cases taken), used, and feared. It teaches us that power is about how we stack up against others. Money is one of the system’s most effective henchmen in reinforcing false hierarchies and judgments about who and what is valuable. For one, money is essentially everywhere; it connects nearly every human being on the planet. By putting an explicit price on things, money simplifies comparison. More is better, so it naturally follows that people with more money are “better”. Money also carries the allure of being the answer to our suffering, and since the vast majority will never have enough of it, it keeps us in pursuit of that dream. It just might be the most brilliant distraction of our time!    

Money isn't neutral in its effect; it has been coopted to reinforce what is false. Money creates mistaken ideas about the purpose, worth, and value of human life. It feeds the false narrative that some are inherently more special, more valuable, than others and should be treated as such. It feeds the false narrative that human beings have dominion over Nature. It separates us from the natural ecosystems that enable life on this planet and creates the illusion that we can extract from them ad infinitum without consequence. 

You might be thinking, if this is all true, then how and why do we permit this? The genius of the design is that it makes our circumstances personal. The system says, “this is a meritocracy; hustle harder!” It warns, “protect and claim what is yours.” It whispers, “no pain, no gain.” It jeers, “must be nice to be the other guy.” In other words, we earned it…or we didn’t. When we believe that we are the problem, it makes us susceptible to being controlled and even to controlling others if we find ourselves in positions of authority. 

Our indoctrination starts in early childhood and is delivered through the repetition of money-based threats and rewards throughout our lives. Its messengers are our loving caregivers, mentors, media, schools, cultural icons, and corporations. Before long, we find ourselves indoctrinating the next generation to ensure that they too can enjoy a “good life”. It can be painful to see this; we may feel duped and even betrayed by those who are supposed to love and protect us. But there is no blame to assign here; this is simply about seeing the system as it is. 

Some will say that humans are inherently greedy and our system merely reflects human nature, but that is a popular cultural myth that lacks evidence and protects the status quo. What we do know, however, is that human behavior is highly responsive to incentives, and the incentive system that underlies our global financial system is one that encourages greed, dominance, and fear. It’s no wonder that despite our incredible material fortune in the Western world, we are seeing staggering and increasing rates of mental health crises, especially in young people. 

"Healthy wealthy" does not exist, but "healthy poor" and "healthy middle class" don't exist either. Paradoxically, true health has nothing to do with money and everything to do with money. Money isn’t inherently compromised; it’s just being used in a particular way, and it will use us if we don’t see its imprint clearly. Together we have the opportunity to reclaim money as a gift and restore it to its true potential: as a tool to create a thriving life.

I have tremendous respect for money: what it has been, what it is today, and what it can become. We have a role to play in money’s unfolding, should we choose to accept it. Let’s find our way back to balance—back to a thriving life for ourselves and all beings.

The first step in working with money shame is to be able to identify these “I am” stories and externalize them. In doing so, we become the one observing the stories, not the story itself.

Once we recognize our story or stories, we can get curious about them and ask: is this familiar? whose voice is this? what memories does this feeling trigger?

We can then gather insight from our different intelligence centers. Start with the mind, then drop in and down to the heart, and then further in and down to the body. What does each of these centers have to say about the story or stories at hand?

Shame thrives on secrecy, so the invitation, should you choose to accept it, is to share any stories and insights with a trusted person or a trusted group of people in your life. Use your discernment about who can hold this with care.

Share

Leave a comment

Share

Leave a comment

Subscribe now